Ummm...I’m not sure Twitter user Jay Furr was joking or not when he asked the United States Geological Survey’s Twitter account a rather odd question, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, Jay asked the USGS if it was safe to toast marshmallows over the volcanic vents from Hawaii’s erupting Mount Kilauea, assuming you had a long enough stick.
Well, the USGS responded to Jay’s inquiry in between posting updates to the erupting volcano. The response was pretty much what you would expect. “Erm...we’re going to have to say no, that’s not safe (Please don’t try!)” said the agency. Not only would they not taste good, but if you add sugar to sulfuric acid, you would get a “pretty spectacular reaction.”
Fortunately, there have been no reports of “lava s’mores” being made, so it’s safe to assume that Jeff took the agency’s advice.